We've done it. The Hadron Collider has been stopped. The world, and all of Space, is safe for another two months until technicians repair it.
I won't be taking credit for this, as I've been on other Space errands, but congrats to the Space Cadets who ARE responsible, as now we'll have another two months to get our affairs in order and hopefully prepare a few "white pegs" in order to fill the black holes that will be created by the LHC.
We're missing one small bit of intelligence, though. We need to learn whether or not black holes are, in fact, round as everyone believes, or of they are square. As you all know, a round peg will not fit into a square hole, and a square peg will not fit a round hole. Things could get very bad indeed if we brought the wrong equipment to Doomsday.
-Space Chief out.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Notes from Space: stop CERN and their LHC.
I had forgotten all about my old Space Blog. You would be surprised how difficult it actually is to to keep an extended Halo/Space joke going before you run out of ideas and forget the e-mail account you signed up with.
Also, don't be fooled by what they're saying about this Doomsday Device. I am the Chief of Space, and I KNOW what a Doomsday Device looks like when I see one. What does Stephen Hawking know anyway? Is he FROM Space? No.
Anything built by the Swiss that's 17 miles long, and underground,has got to be bad news. Think about it: the Swiss haven't done anything on the world stage for a long time. Even during World War II, which was not fought in Space, they did nothing. Their military knives are the tools of Boy scouts and winos everywhere. People THINK there's nothing to fear from the Swiss.
Which is just what they want. They lay low during all the major upheavals only to bust out a Doomsday Device while everyone's all like "Irag, Al Quaeda, Chavez, blah."
I propose the United States secretly send that "Army of One" they always used to talk about, to destroy it. That guy who used to run through the desert in green fatigues must be in Switzerland by now. He can pick up some cheese, blow up the Hadron Collider, and be back before election day.
They begin experiments sometime in October if I'm not mistaken, so we need to be quick about this, guys, as it will kind of Doom the world.
-Space Chief out.
PS: and I'm signing off on my posts now. Cool.
Also, don't be fooled by what they're saying about this Doomsday Device. I am the Chief of Space, and I KNOW what a Doomsday Device looks like when I see one. What does Stephen Hawking know anyway? Is he FROM Space? No.
Anything built by the Swiss that's 17 miles long, and underground,has got to be bad news. Think about it: the Swiss haven't done anything on the world stage for a long time. Even during World War II, which was not fought in Space, they did nothing. Their military knives are the tools of Boy scouts and winos everywhere. People THINK there's nothing to fear from the Swiss.
Which is just what they want. They lay low during all the major upheavals only to bust out a Doomsday Device while everyone's all like "Irag, Al Quaeda, Chavez, blah."
I propose the United States secretly send that "Army of One" they always used to talk about, to destroy it. That guy who used to run through the desert in green fatigues must be in Switzerland by now. He can pick up some cheese, blow up the Hadron Collider, and be back before election day.
They begin experiments sometime in October if I'm not mistaken, so we need to be quick about this, guys, as it will kind of Doom the world.
-Space Chief out.
PS: and I'm signing off on my posts now. Cool.
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